Why I Stopped Giving To World Vision

Today I received  a phone call from a World Vision representative asking if I’d want to renew my sponsorship of the child I’ve sponsored since 2009. With sadness, I had to tell her that no, I would not be renewing my support.

The controversy surrounding World Vision’s decision to hire practicing homosexuals (as long as they were legally married), and their almost immediate retraction of that decision has mostly blown over by this point. But I still have a picture of a 9-year-old boy from Albania on my fridge, and I haven’t yet forgotten what the decision of the President and board have cost him.

World Vision’s initial decision had a lot of people wondering whether or not they should remove support from the organization. Was it right to sacrifice the “well-being” of children and families in need over the peripheral issue of homosexuality? I struggled with this question hour by hour for the days leading up to World Vision’s reversal, and removed my support just the night before their retraction.

After prayer, thought, and discussion, my husband and I did choose to remove support, and therefore left my sweet little boy without a sponsor. There were a few factors that went into the decision at the time.

1) World Vision’s sponsorships work on a pool system. My understanding is that the money I sent in for my sponsored child wasn’t just going to him. The money was going into a larger pool of money that provided for the entire group of sponsored children. The retraction of my funds wasn’t going to mean that they would kick him out of school, or that his family would starve. It just meant that his support funds were going to have to come from other places within World Vision. That was important to me.

2) John Piper has said, “Christians should care about suffering — especially eternal suffering.” That quote (or paraphrase) has been very helpful to me as I think about the sort of issues that seem to pit the social gospel against biblical morality. Care for physical suffering should not come with the cost of eternal suffering. It is not one way or the other. In this situation, World Vision’s decision made it very clear to me that my sponsored child’s eternal needs were not going to be met in a good and true way.

3)The compromise of homosexuality in the church is a big compromise, and signifies what I think is a bigger problem of bad hermeneutics, disrespect for the Word of God, and an immoderate care for the whims of the world. An organization with those sorts of problems, in my opinion, ought not be trusted with the hearts of children we care about. Though my heart and prayers are with that little boy in Albania, I am a better steward of his heart and my money if I give elsewhere.

And then the next day, World Vision changed their mind. So what then? They apologetically reversed their decision, so that means it’s okay to give them support as they minister to children again, right? Well, I thought about it. On one hand, yes. They were reprimanded and seemed to come to good conclusion. The woman I spoke to on the phone was extremely apologetic, and said several times that she hoped that I could forgive them. I didn’t know what to say to that. I don’t think that they need forgiveness from me. Can you even forgive an organization?

And there’s still the other hand. Yes, they reversed their decision, and fast! But how long did it take them to reach the first decision? I don’t think that they came to the decision to hire married gays overnight. My guess is that they wrestled with the issues, sought counsel, etc. and came to the conclusion that it was the right thing to do. But then — when they saw the negative response — they reversed their decision overnight. This makes me ask questions, like:

  • Who were they (the board) listening to, that told them this was a good idea? Obviously not someone to whom I would entrust souls that I care about.
  • What kind of people are on this board? Obviously people who are a) easily swayed by deceptive, persuasive arguments, or b) progressive “Christians” who really thing this would be a good idea. Again, not people to whom I would entrust souls that I care about.
  • What led to the quick reversal? Financial pain. Although framed in a theologically repentant tone, I can only assume that when they started to lose money and saw the impact their decision would have on their mission, they buckled and apologized to the people who could save them from bankruptcy.

All three of those thoughts lead me to believe one thing about World Vision. They are not to be trusted with the Word of God or with souls that I care about because of their complete lack of steadfastness. They did not stay true to a biblical worldview with their initial decision, and the immediate reversal leads me to believe that even their firmly-felt convictions will be sacrificed to their immediate needs. I don’t think they are trustworthy enough to disciple children, and not trustworthy enough to give money to, especially if I care that it goes primarily toward the relief of eternal suffering.

I pray that God will work truth and real repentance into the hearts of the president and board members of World Vision where it doesn’t already exist. But today, although the woman I spoke to was kind, gentle, apologetic, and probably had nothing to do with the initial decision, I let the my little 9-year-old go for good. May the Lord bless him and keep him. And may he forever treasure his creator, trusting him with all of his heart, soul, and mind.

The Source

Today I’ve been thinking a bit about how so much encouragement or discouragement depends not so much on what is said or done, but the setting you’re in or the people speaking to you. Here are a few examples:

1) A compliment or critique from an expert in the area they’re speaking of means much more than either from someone who you wouldn’t expect to know better than you.

2) Sometimes in conversation, at events, or in meetings, what is discussed isn’t necessarily groundbreaking. But the very fact that you were all in it together can be very encouraging. For example, I went to a “Women in the Workplace” event at my church a few weeks ago, and although there was nothing really new stated, the sheer number of women who showed up, appearing to be in the same or similar (or opposite) situation, was really encouraging. Similarly, I was in a meeting yesterday where nothing was really new, but the fact that we got to all talk about it together and make sure we were on the same page was very helpful.

3) It doesn’t matter how pleased anyone is with you, your work, your words, etc. unless you please the person you’re seeking to please. Compliments from anyone are nice, but don’t necessarily mean much if you don’t get the reaction you want from whoever you were hoping to receive them from. Likewise, critiques from people don’t mean much when you’ve pleased the person you set out to please.

Thinking about this makes me want to continue to ruminate on what this might mean for me personally:

  • Who in my sphere of influence can I particularly encourage because of my position? Or maybe, who in my sphere of influence do I need to particularly guard from accidental discouragement?
  • Who am I seeking approval from? I better make sure that I’m trying to please the right people. A good gauge is probably to test whose reactions I care the most about.
  • How often do I take to heart that the Bible was written by God? Why doesn’t that “source” always beat out other people’s opinions?
  • It’s a good thing to remember that encouragement can just be an agreement. It doesn’t have to be some over-the-top compliment, or praise, or anything like that. Just agreeing and displaying camaraderie can make a huge difference.

..just some thoughts after another day at the office.

I Like Boring Books

I like to read history books. My college education gave me the great gift of learning to read and appreciate and enjoy “boring” books. I don’t do it as often as I would like, but when I’m not too busy, too tired or too lazy to pick up a good non-fiction, non-theological/devotional book, I love reading history. Specifically American history (although, as you’ve seen, Irish history always piques my interest).

My favorite professor in undergrad gave us the opportunity (actually, he forced us) to read good American historians who took and take their jobs seriously enough to not give in to political bandwagons or patriotic fairytale-isms. I appreciate authors and researchers who guard against their own biases.

If you’re curious, here are two of my favorite American historians and some of their books:

David Hackett Fischer. I’ve read a number of his books, and can whole-heartedly recommend them. Sometimes you forget you’re reading non-fiction.

  • Paul Revere’s Ride. This was one of the first books I read in college, and it changed the way I felt about history classes and their “textbooks.” So worth it.
  • Champlain’s Dream. This one is my favorite (probably of any historical books), hands down. I read it after graduation upon the recommendation of my aforementioned favorite professor, and wow. Just wow. I never enjoyed the history of exploration until this book.

Joseph Ellis. For writing style, I think Ellis is my favorite. He has a very personal and engaging tone in his books that makes whatever he’s writing about interesting.

  • Founding Brothers. This book is amazing!! Basically, it’s a compilation of true short stories about various founding fathers, like the duel between Hamilton and Burr (got milk?).
  • His Excellency. A biography of George Washington. I’ve not read other biographies of Washington, but Ellis just has a funny and fair way with words that makes me fairly confident this would be my favorite.
  • American Sphinx. A biography of Jefferson. Full disclosure: I’m only sixty pages in. But so far, it’s great. I love Ellis’ candor and sense of humor.

There’s my list! Enjoy!

This Just Got Personal

I’ve been away for quite some time, it would seem. I just stopped, I guess. For about month, my thoughts and reading was all geared towards having a baby. But that stopped too.

I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago, and that has taken over the thinking-about-other-things space in my brain where pregnancy excitement used to be.

Right now, I’m in a strange state of not knowing what to do with myself. I feel like Wonder Bread. Utterly normal. I don’t really remember being pregnant, or what that excitement felt like. It seems strange to me that we even were in that place just a few weeks ago, but at the same time, I have no desire to start trying again, and the excitement over the particular unknown of motherhood hasn’t returned. But I go about my daily life feeling fine most of the time. But sometimes I just feel…different.

Actually, I feel altogether apathetic about most things. I won’t say that there’s no enjoyment in my life (there is!), and I don’t think I’m depressed. We have a new puppy that I love (Hank), and there are still wonderful things about my job, my marriage, my friends, etc. But I have no motivation to do anything extra at all, like housework or reading. I like things without really caring about them. I feel really sloppy.

And who’s to say what’s related to the miscarriage, and what’s the result of the week or so during and after the miscarriage where that apathy and rest was needed? Is it my body and mind screaming for rest — a grief-induced disengagement? Or is it just the laziness that comes after too long of a rest? Honestly, I feel like my emotional response to the miscarriage is mostly finished. I’m very okay. I don’t feel like a liar when I respond, “Good!” to the question, “How are you?” But yet, I feel Psalm 42:

“As the deer pants for flowing streams, so my soul pants for you, O God. 
My soul thirsts for the living God… 

These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: 
how I would go with the throng 
and lead them in procession to the house of God 
with glad shouts and songs of praise,
a multitude keeping festival.”

I want to be engaged with life. I want to care about things and not just trudge along. I feel like I’m the deer panting in the wilderness, remembering the times when worship meant something, and when I felt like reading the Word of God was at the very least a chance for refreshment. And so, with the psalmist, I ask my self,

“Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?

And answer,

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him
my salvation and my God.”

The psalm continues with my heart,

“My soul is cast down within me; 
therefore I remember you…

Deep calls to deep
at the roar of your waterfalls;
all your breakers and your waves
have gone over me.

The author of the psalm knows and wants God, but still feels overwhelmed. He reminds himself:

By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.”

And so he ends by calling his heart to hope again.

“Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.”

Right now, I feel too tired to make the effort to hope. I don’t feel sad, but I don’t feel hopeful. I’m not angry or even disappointed that God determined this way for our path, but I’m tired and can’t tell what kind of rest I need. Or maybe I don’t even need rest. Maybe I just need to have some personal discipline and pull myself up by my bootstraps.

So pray for me, would you? I really am just fine (in every meaning of “just”). I trust and have seen God’s good for me in suffering, but I need wisdom — this sort of “painless suffering” is new territory for me.

Jamie

p.s. I picked up a new book this week about women in the home and workplace, and I’ve been enjoying it. Granted, most of the times I’ve tried to read it I’ve fallen asleep with a puppy in my lap instead. But this weekend I’ve read almost half of it while working at a conference, and it’s been really good! I’m digesting fodder for future blogposts, so stay tuned!

The Literacy of the Irish

There’s no other way to talk about my other favorite part of How The Irish Saved Civilization than just to quote Thomas Cahill extensively. So here are some the best sentences of the whole book:

“Like the Jews before them, the Irish enshrined literacy as their central religious act. In a land where the old literate civilizations were sinking fast beneath successive waves of barbarism, the white Gospel page, shining in all the little oratories of Ireland, acted as a pledge: the lonely darkness had been turned into light, and the lonely virtue of courage, sustained through all the centuries, had been transformed into hope (p 164-65).”

And more:

“The Irish received literacy in their own way, as something to play with…Within a generation the Irish had mastered Latin and even Greek and, as best they could, were picking up some Hebrew. All this was fairly straightforward, too straightforward once they’d got the hang of it. They began to make up languages. The members of a far-flung secret society, formed as early as the late fifth century (barely a generation after the Irish had become literate), could write to one another in impenetrably erudite, never-before-spoken patterns of Latin…not unlike the languages J.R.R. Tolkein would one day make up for his hobbits and elves… (p 164)”

It just seems that they loved literacy, words, and writing so much that they couldn’t help themselves but to embellish, creating some of the most famous and beautiful written works of literature. And when I say beautiful, I don’t mean well-structured sentences. I mean beautiful — like decorative. Go look up the famous “Chi-Rho” page in the Book of Kells.

I thoroughly enjoy hearing about these funny, country scholar-monks going about their copy work with such gusto. I wish that I was always as enamored with the written word as they were.

The Faith of the Irish, part 2

I’m slowly making progress in How the Irish Saved Civilization. Every time I pick it up I’m amazed and am more and more encouraged by what I read. I’ve written a summary below of some of the latest things I’ve learned.

Saint Patrick’s influence through the ages, and the way that God used his spiritual descendants baffles and amazes me. The movement he started had impact that I doubt he ever imagined it would.

A few generations after Patrick, a man named Columcille set off to start a monastery in Scotland. Pagan tribes had displaced Patrick’s Celtic relatives into Wales and Scotland, and, with the fall of Rome, illiterate paganism of the Germanic tribes was a threat to the intellectual foundations that had been built during the Roman rule.

Columcille became a “white martyr” (red martyrs died, green martyrs studied in solitude in nature, and white martyrs “sailed into the white sky” as missionaries), and set up shop, with no intent to return to Ireland. He met with great success, and soon had to put a cap on the membership of his monastery. When they reached 150 monks, he would send off 13 men to start a new monastery — and so the Irish church plants began.

The Irish monks began to minister to all of what is now England. And who better to minister to illiterate barbarian tribes than a group of monks whose faith and literacy was just generations old.

Another Irish missionary was Columbanus, who was 20 years or so younger than Columcille. He took a group of monks to Gaul. He was a feisty man, from the sounds of it, challenging the stale leaders of the Catholic Church — reproving them for their reluctance to serve those outside of their comfortable cities and palaces. He was even deported, but when the boat on which he was deported sank, he and his men began to form monasteries in Italy. His passion was for the unreached barbarians, and he continued to start monasteries well into his seventies. It is largely because of his work that the European tribes heard the gospel.

So think of this amazing circle of grace: The Greeks and Romans “civilize” and educate Europe. Through the ministry to the Celts in what is now Britain, Patrick is saved. Through slavery he is exposed to the tribes in Ireland, and eventually becomes a missionary, almost entirely responsible for their conversion.

Rome falls and Europe returns to illiteracy and barbarism, with some exceptions. And God uses these believing Irish monks to convert the powerful Germanic tribes in the same areas that sent the men that would impact Saint Patrick’s people. Reaching from the boot of Italy, up into France and Norway, the Irish influence in the spread of Christianity and learning is almost incalculable.

All I have to say is: “Wow.”

Now obviously, there’s more to this story, and the Irish don’t deserve all of the credit for the evangelizing of Europe. But it’s still impressive, when you think of the size of Ireland, and the few years between Saint Patrick and the sending of their missionaries, it’s amazing.

Another amazing thing to think about is the effect of literacy on this culture. But I’ll have to tell you about that another time.

A Recent Discovery

When we got back from vacation in January and went back to work I had a hard time. As I was returning, everyone else was still on vacation, which made for a very long, and slow week. It was made even longer and slower by the fact that it was so cold outside that the facilities manager asked everyone to keep the shades closed (how cold does it have to get for that to happen? Oh, just about -20 degrees Fahrenheit). So it was a cold, lonely, dark, and boring week after I returned from the vacation of lifetime.

In my state of deprivation of so many vital things (warmth, company, activity…), I was driven to seek out new pastimes  to help me get through the more mindless parts of my job. And thus, an Audible addiction was born.

I’ve been a fan of LibriVox.org for a few years now, listening to good books read by bad readers. And all for free! (Okay, I still heartily recommend LibriVox, I’ve just become a bit of a snob, I guess) And then I realized that on Audible.com you can buy much better quality audio books for cheap without even creating an account or starting a trial membership. All it takes is your Amazon account credentials (they are owned by Amazon), and by looking for books marked “special price,” you can get great books for great prices. I’ve been semi-addicted for just over a month, and I think I’ve just broken the $10 mark. I have yet to pay more than $3.99 for a book, and the cheapest was only $.99.

In the last month and a half I’ve listened to:

1) Dracula

2) The Fault In our Stars

3) The Scarlet Pimpernel

4) Treasure Island (I’m not actually quite finished with this one)

I can’t remember the last time I’ve made it through that many books so quickly (because in addition to the books I’ve listened to, I’ve also read several hard-copy books), but with the amount of envelope stuffing and spreadsheet making I do, it’s been a wonderful way to multi-task. I’ve also used the books during painting projects and dinner prep as well.

So if you can’t find time to read books but be willing to spend less than the cost of a latte on an audio book (that you can play on your phone and computer), I’d suggest that you try Audible.com — it’s awesome.